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Al Hakimi 53
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My Inability to remove Sin Causes Me Much Distress
I am a Christian. As a girl , before i started believing within the Lord, I always had such a robust drive to excel over others. I always felt that i used to be more educated than my mom and that i always disregarded my mom’s suggestions. My mom was also very self-opinionated, always trying to urge me to try to to what she said, then the 2 folks were often hostile due to our differing opinions. I felt very upset about this awkward relationship with my mom, but I felt like there was nothing I could do to vary it. After i started to believe the Lord, my brothers and sisters gave me fellowship, saying, “The Lord Jesus was crucified upon the cross so as to redeem us and He forgave us our sins that we could enjoy His abundant grace. The Lord loves us and teaches us to like our neighbors as ourselves. Therefore, we must learn to like other people….” The Lord Jesus’ love moved me greatly and that i wished to practice consistent with the Lord’s teachings and love my family and people around me. Afterward, whenever I disagreed with my mom about anything, i might let my mom speak first and check out my best to not argue together with her . If I couldn’t stand to carry my peace at the time and that we ended up arguing about something, i might later attend her and admit fault. After a short time , I felt as if my temper had improved an excellent deal, and my relationship with my mom became somewhat easier.
I’d thought then that my relationship with my mom would recover and better, but things didn’t quite end up that way. As time went on, i used to be still unable to regulate my hot-headedness and that i started arguing with my mom again. albeit sometimes I wouldn’t say anything to her, i might still be feeling disgruntled inside. My mom also rebuked me, saying, “You believe the Lord now, so why you continue to have such a nasty temper?” Hearing her say this made me feel bad and that i felt like all my diligence and every one the changes I had skilled had come to naught. brooding about it, however, this was exactly what had happened. Although I wanted to vary , I just couldn’t restrain myself from losing my temper all the time. At that point , I inevitably came to possess some questions: “Why am I still having frequent arguments with my mom? Why can’t I keep to the Lord’s words? How am i able to remove the bonds of sin?”
Later on, I spoke to my brothers and sisters within the church about this matter, and a few of them said to me, “You need to learn self-restraint. As our relationship with the Lord becomes closer and closer, we become more and more tolerant of our relations .” and a few said to me, “This stage of ups and downs is completely normal, but our change always spirals upward, and what's certain is that we recover the more we modify , so don’t have any doubts. The Lord’s salvation is wholly complete and He will begin His add our lives in order that we become newly-created people.” I also comforted myself by thinking, “Perhaps I just don’t exerting enough at it. What’s more, I haven’t believed within the Lord for long and my stature is little , and that’s why I can’t control my temper. once I have believed within the Lord for an extended time, I should then be ready to put the Lord’s words into practice.” Afterward, whenever I argued with my mom over our differing opinions, I did all I could to restrain myself from getting angry. Practicing during this way did occasionally have some effect, but i used to be never ready to restrain myself for long before I lost my temper again. In my pain, all I could do was precede the Lord to pray: “O Lord! I can never stop myself from getting angry and that i cannot restrain myself. I don’t know what to try to to . Please are you able to help me? …”
Will the Lord Perform New Work When He Returns?
A fortuitous chance led me to urge familiar with several brothers and sisters online. we frequently studied the Bible and attended gatherings with one another and would ask one another our understanding and knowledge of Bible verses. especially , the fellowships of Brother Lin were particularly illuminating and enlightening; I reaped much enjoy them and understood many truths I had never understood before. i actually enjoyed attending gatherings with these brothers and sisters.
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